Activation Day

Today was the big day, Johnny's activation.  I had been having mixed feelings about it all.  I wasn't sure that all of this was really necessary, did Johnny really need this implant?  Then I had thoughts about whether this was really going to work.  When we first found out about Eliza's hearing loss, and realized that Johnny probably had it too, we thought his would be the same as hears, in the mild to moderate range.  It was hard when we found out it was severe to profound.  Then we got our hope up that hearing aids would work, but they didn't, at all.  So, I was afraid to get my hopes up this time.

When the audiologist hooked up the processor, and after the boring testing of the electrodes, and we saw Johnny react to sounds for the first time, it was a magical moment.  I couldn't believe it.  It was working, no letdown.  Then it was time to leave to office.  We had the map set on his processor, and the battery pack was hooked up, so we turned it on and then put it on his head.  The magic was over.  He began to cry a lot.  He just wouldn't be comforted.  No one had really prepared us for that reaction.  I felt like the worst parent, like I had taken something away from him, when I thought I was giving him something.  I promised myself that I would not let him lose that part of himself that was attached to his deafness.  We'll keep working on that.  

The rest of the day went better.  He kept the processor on for most of the day.  We went first to my mom's house, where his grandma showed him the wind chimes outside, and he discovered that they were more than just decorations, they made sounds, and he was amazed.  After that, we rode the train downtown and went to the LDS Church museum to explore the Primary display upstairs.  Johnny loved it, there was a lot for him to see and do.  He had a lot 

of fun there.  After that, we went across the street to Temple square to go see the Christus statue.  Johnny has really been into pictures of Jesus lately, so we thought he would enjoy that, and he did.

After that we went downstairs to see the display on the Book of Mormon and modern Prophets.  Erica needed to nurse Eliza, so she took her into the bathroom and fed her.  Johnny and I went over to the display featuring President Monson.  It had clips from different talks on different topics.  I found one on Jesus Christ and pushed play.  Then I sat on the floor next to the stroller and watched as Johnny signed  "prophet" and pointed to the video image.  Then he stopped as President Monson started speaking.  Johnny turned his head a little and just watched, and listened as the prophet spoke.  For the first time of the day, I got a little emotional as I watched my son listen to the Prophet for the first time.

After we were done downtown we took the train back to Murray, and then went to my dad's house.  Everyone was excited to see Johnny, but he did not like hearing everyone.  We had a harder time getting him to keep it on there.

When we got home, I got Johnny ready for bed and got my favorite book from when I was a kid, "But No Elephants", and read to Johnny with the implant in.  I signed most of it still to him, but I sat with my mouth close to his mic and spoke the story to him in different voices, and he smiled a lot and really enjoyed it.  That was the moment when I promised myself that I would work with Johnny to develop his listening and oral skills.  I want my son to enjoy all of life that he can, and today was a big step toward that.