Response to a Blog Post

I recently read a blog post written by a blogger in my local community. In this post, she was posing a question about a girl she knew of with a CI who started attending a "voice off" signing school program when she was three. This girl was 18 months old when she was implanted, and primarily signs at home. According to this blogger, she knows 75-100 kids who have CI's, and in her "expert" opinion, this girl was the only implanted at a young age who cannot understand spoken language. So she poses the question: Does she primarily sign because she cannot understand spoken language, or does she not understand spoken language because she primarily signs? Reading the post,and the comments afterword, it was clear that she felt it was the latter. I read that post last night. Shortly after that, she read my wife's post, "life Doesn't Get Much Better Than This" (link can be found on my blog). In her comment she mentioned that my son, and this one girl are the only children she knew of who were implanted who could not understand spoken language, and then again pointed out our short comings as parents because we will not go up to Logan for our mapping. She then said that every child should respond well to a CI unless they have some other disability. Well I want to clear a few things up for her, and anyone else who might be interested.
The first thing I want to clear up is that neither of my children have a disability or multiple disabilities that would prevent them from learning spoken language. Being deaf is not a disability. They can do anything that anyone else can do, and I won't let anyone say they are handicapped or disabled, including such a fine expert as this blogger obviously is.
Another thing I want to clear up is her point about knowing 75-100 CI kids. I believe this to be true. I would be curious to know how she knows these kids though. My guess would be that she has met many of them from her AG Bell meetings or the likes. Most of the kids whose parents are involved in AG Bell meetings would most likely be primarily Auditory/Oral kids. It just stands to reason. I wonder how many kids with CI's she doesn't know who primarily sign, and she doesn't know them because chances are, they and their parents don't go to the AG Bell meetings (I personally have never been to one). It would stand to reason then, that the only kids with CIs that she would know would understand spoken language very well.
Also in her post, she mentions that the school this girl goes to does not have any auditory or speech therapy. That the classrooms are completely voice off. I have to call this bluff. There is a giant hole in this story. A hole the size of Texas. Simply put: It is not true! My son goes to the same school, and he receives therapy everyday, from a qualified therapist. They are in the process of even having an audiologist qualified in mapping CIs at the school. It doesn't sound to me like the "voice off", anti-speaking environment that this blogger was portraying it as. I can say, having had occassion to sit in meetings with the principal of this school, she is dedicated to showing that JMS is completely capable of providing any and every service for any and every deaf child in Utah. So while this blogger will attempt to paint a different picture, I can tell in my experience, her picture is a fantasy and nowhere near the reality.
Finally, to add my two cents about the "discussion" she was trying to start, just because a child prefers signing over oral and auditory communication, does not mean that they are in any way inferior to the children who prefer auditory and oral communication. I don't care what the reason is why my son prefers signing over oral communication. It doesn't matter to me. I don't think anyone has the right to examine the choices I have made concerning my children, and decide if they are right or wrong. The right to raise my children is my own sacred right, and I believe it is everyone's. I may not feel this bloggers choices are right for my children, but I would certainly never tell her her choices were wrong for her. I know, because I've chosen ASL for my kids (they chose it, actually) that makes me an extremist, but in reality, the only thing I am extreme is allowing each parent to make those choices for their own kids. No one knows their kids better, so who is better qualified than them?
I love my son. I love who he is, and his language is part of who he is. I am so proud of him. He is unbelievably smart and perceptive. I wouldn't change a single thing about him. I know it may be hard for some people to understand, but I believe my son prefers to be Deaf. I remember one time, we were trying to get him to wear his processor, and he told us no. He told us, "I'm deaf. I don't hear." I am so proud of my son and who he is, because who he is is amazing. He is totally capable of learning spoken language, but he loves his sign language. It is a part of who he is. I know, this blogger might respond that no one is saying that I should take that away from him, that her daughter does both. And that is all true. I only say it, so that when I say that it's not an issue of mapping or which audiologist we go to, that it is an issue of his choice and his preference, that when I say that, it might somehow make sense to her, and she can lay off us. I am glad she has found a good path for her daughter. Can she say she is glad we found a good path for our son and our daughter? Or is she still bugged because it is different than the path she chose. Isn't that what an extremist does? Try to push their beliefs and experiences and opinions on others?
For the girl in the original story, does it matter which caused which? Isn't the most important thing that she is happy, that she has a language and friends and peers? Or does that only count when that language is spoken English, and those friends and peers are hearing children from the mainstream school? Is happiness only found when kids go to the neighborhood schools, or can they be happy going to a deaf school with their deaf peers? Can hearing parents only really have a meaningful relationship with their deaf child when their deaf child can hear and speak just like them? Or is it possible that those hearing parents could become proficient in a new language and a new culture, and have just as meaningful relationship? I guess, again what I am saying is, does it really matter, or is the only path to raising a successful deaf child the one that this blogger chose for her daughter?