Changes

Because of concerns that my wife and I have about our growing family, I have decided to also make my blog private. With our son starting school and being out there more, we just feel safer not having our whole life open on the internet. If you would like to continue to follow my blog, please give me you email address and I will make it happen. The blog will be private as of February 15th. Thank you for reading.

What the!?

We had quite the surprise today when we went to meet with the surgeon about Eliza's surgery. Everything with the surgeon went really well. He had no concerns about her cochlea or her candidacy to be implanted, so he sent us to his assistant to set the date for the surgery. We figured it would be smooth sailing from here. After all, we had been through this all last year, so we knew what to expect. Johnny had to wait so he could wear the hearing aids for six months, but eliza has had hers for a year now, so we didn't foresee any obstacles.
Then came the shock. It came when his assistant asked what insurance we had. We told her it was Selectmed, which we had last year, so we had little worry about it. She kind of cringed and said they didn't like Selectmed. I told her we knew that, but it wasn't a big deal because Eliza had her hearing aids for a year now, so there shouldn't be a problem. Then she dropped the bomb. Because of a mixture of things, including, probably the oncoming healthcare reforms, and the parents who had battled Selectmed for coverage for bilateral implants, Selectmed had changed their coverage of cochlear implants. Apparently, they will cover bilateral implantation. However, they will only cover a lifetime maximum of $35,000 toward cochlear implants. Sounds like an ok compromise. Here's the problem: the average cochlear implant procedure costs $60,000. That means whereas Johnny's procedure cost us roughly $1800 out of pocket, Eliza's would cost us $25,000 out of pocket. It floored us. I had heard about changes coming in insurance coverage because of what's happening in Washington. I did not know it would affect us so profoundly, so quickly. We were just staggering trying to figure out what we were going to do. The assistant had several suggestions, which we will look into. Her main concern was that we could possibly get her bilateral implants for the same price, which these kids deserve, so they wouldn't be disabled anymore. I smiled and nodded.
Before anyone out there thinks that we might be bad parents because we would even make money an issue in this situation, just calm down. First of all, to pretend that money is not an issue, is being naive. I love my kids, and I will do anything for their benefit that I possibly can. I have my limitations, and money is a real limitation. If I don't have it, I can't pay it. Secondly, knowing what we know now, I don't equate cochlear implant with Eliza's chances on a successful, fulfilled life. Who she is is not dependent on her ability to hear. Her ability to communicate is not hindered by her deafness. Her opportunities to have friends and be part of a meaningful society is not hindered by her not hearing. We know enough Deaf people to know that they are just as happy, and just as fulfilled as someone who hears. Our kids will be comfortable with who they are, and will never have to apologize in anyway for who they are not, to anyone. The implant is a tool to help them, but I refuse to let it define them. Neither of them need to be afraid or ashamed of being Deaf. All that being said, the third thing is that we are working on figuring out a way to make it happen for Eliza. We have options for our insurance through my work, and we are in the process of finding out if any of them have better coverage for CI. Our open enrollment period is not until November, and would not take affect until next January. Fortunately for us, we are having a life changing event in March or April in the form of a baby. I have already contacted my HR and confirmed that at that point we can change our plan if we would like, and it would take effect the next month. So, our plan is to wait until then and change our insurance and go forward from there. Just like Eliza came in time to let us know that Johnny was deaf, Jak is coming in time to help her get an implant. My kids are so thoughtful.
We were worried at first, but just like always in our lives, the Lord has provided a way for us to do what we feel is right for our kids. We have been amazed throughout all of this at how often we find ourselves making choices that go against the grain, and how often the Lord has opened the doors for us.

The First Week, a Week of Firsts

This was the first full week of the new year, and what a new year it has been for our family so far. I feel like our life is changing so fast and I am watching my kids grow up on fast forward. It's amazing. This week was full of first experiences for our kids, in particular, Johnny. He is not my baby boy anymore, he is a big boy. And Eliza, I can't believe it, she is just learning things so fast. It is just amazing.
Monday was Johnny's first day at his new school. We were nervous about how it would go for him. Mostly, we felt that he would be just fine, but there is always a part of you that feels a little nervous that he might be scared or nervous himself. Not Johnny. He just walked into the school with his backpack on, walked with us to his new classroom, and took his teacher's hand and basically just waved good-bye to us. He was just happy and excited to be there. After his first day, his teachers told us that he was just excited all day long. He loved it. The next morning, he was excited to get dressed and go to school.
Tuesday morning, before he went to school, we had a dentist appointment. It was Johnny's first cleaning. I was nervous about how he would do. We tried to have him go first, but he was so nervous. He didn't understand what this weird guy was trying to do, and he did not like the chair. He was just really tense, and clamped his mouth shut. So we decided to let me go. He sat and just watched the dentist as he cleaned my teeth. he was really good, just very interested in what was going on. The dentist, at the end of my cleaning had Johnny sit on his lap, so he could see the mirror and the pick and how the worked. I was hoping Johnny would get it. After I was done, I signed to him that it was his turn, and he just sat right in the chair, and the dentist came toward him with the mirror, and Johnny opened his mouth wide and let the dentist clean his teeth and floss them and polish them. He was really good. The dentist even commented on how good of a patient he was. It was a lot of fun.
After the appointment, we took Johnny to school. He was just as excited the second time as he was the first. It was fun to see him after school. He lined up with the other kids in the hall and obeyed his teachers as they signed for him to sit along the wall. He was so good. He waved at us, but just waited until everyone was going out to the busses. It was a lot of fun to see him look so grown up. It was fun to see him with his deaf peers, and speaking his language, and to be a part of something where he was completely involved. After seeing him this last week, I have no doubt that we made the right choice in sending Johnny to the signing school. They were so excited to have him there, and he was so excited to be there. It was just cool.
THursday, he rode the bus to school. He wasn't nervous at all. He climbed in and saw his old car seat and thought it was cool. The van was full of other kids going to his school, and they were all signing and he was just happy to be there and part of it.
It has also been great to see him with Eliza now. He plays so well with her, for the most part. He always takes the time to get down on her level and teach her a new sign. She knows that, and so she always taps him on his shoulder and points at something and then signs what, so he can tell her what it is. Of course, as a result, she knows all the super hero names, dinosaur, fireman, police, cars, you know, all the boy stuff.
The kids are growing up so fast. It is unbelievable. It makes me want to spend as much time with them as I can, so I miss as little as possible as they grow up. It all happens so fast.