Changes

Because of concerns that my wife and I have about our growing family, I have decided to also make my blog private. With our son starting school and being out there more, we just feel safer not having our whole life open on the internet. If you would like to continue to follow my blog, please give me you email address and I will make it happen. The blog will be private as of February 15th. Thank you for reading.

What the!?

We had quite the surprise today when we went to meet with the surgeon about Eliza's surgery. Everything with the surgeon went really well. He had no concerns about her cochlea or her candidacy to be implanted, so he sent us to his assistant to set the date for the surgery. We figured it would be smooth sailing from here. After all, we had been through this all last year, so we knew what to expect. Johnny had to wait so he could wear the hearing aids for six months, but eliza has had hers for a year now, so we didn't foresee any obstacles.
Then came the shock. It came when his assistant asked what insurance we had. We told her it was Selectmed, which we had last year, so we had little worry about it. She kind of cringed and said they didn't like Selectmed. I told her we knew that, but it wasn't a big deal because Eliza had her hearing aids for a year now, so there shouldn't be a problem. Then she dropped the bomb. Because of a mixture of things, including, probably the oncoming healthcare reforms, and the parents who had battled Selectmed for coverage for bilateral implants, Selectmed had changed their coverage of cochlear implants. Apparently, they will cover bilateral implantation. However, they will only cover a lifetime maximum of $35,000 toward cochlear implants. Sounds like an ok compromise. Here's the problem: the average cochlear implant procedure costs $60,000. That means whereas Johnny's procedure cost us roughly $1800 out of pocket, Eliza's would cost us $25,000 out of pocket. It floored us. I had heard about changes coming in insurance coverage because of what's happening in Washington. I did not know it would affect us so profoundly, so quickly. We were just staggering trying to figure out what we were going to do. The assistant had several suggestions, which we will look into. Her main concern was that we could possibly get her bilateral implants for the same price, which these kids deserve, so they wouldn't be disabled anymore. I smiled and nodded.
Before anyone out there thinks that we might be bad parents because we would even make money an issue in this situation, just calm down. First of all, to pretend that money is not an issue, is being naive. I love my kids, and I will do anything for their benefit that I possibly can. I have my limitations, and money is a real limitation. If I don't have it, I can't pay it. Secondly, knowing what we know now, I don't equate cochlear implant with Eliza's chances on a successful, fulfilled life. Who she is is not dependent on her ability to hear. Her ability to communicate is not hindered by her deafness. Her opportunities to have friends and be part of a meaningful society is not hindered by her not hearing. We know enough Deaf people to know that they are just as happy, and just as fulfilled as someone who hears. Our kids will be comfortable with who they are, and will never have to apologize in anyway for who they are not, to anyone. The implant is a tool to help them, but I refuse to let it define them. Neither of them need to be afraid or ashamed of being Deaf. All that being said, the third thing is that we are working on figuring out a way to make it happen for Eliza. We have options for our insurance through my work, and we are in the process of finding out if any of them have better coverage for CI. Our open enrollment period is not until November, and would not take affect until next January. Fortunately for us, we are having a life changing event in March or April in the form of a baby. I have already contacted my HR and confirmed that at that point we can change our plan if we would like, and it would take effect the next month. So, our plan is to wait until then and change our insurance and go forward from there. Just like Eliza came in time to let us know that Johnny was deaf, Jak is coming in time to help her get an implant. My kids are so thoughtful.
We were worried at first, but just like always in our lives, the Lord has provided a way for us to do what we feel is right for our kids. We have been amazed throughout all of this at how often we find ourselves making choices that go against the grain, and how often the Lord has opened the doors for us.

The First Week, a Week of Firsts

This was the first full week of the new year, and what a new year it has been for our family so far. I feel like our life is changing so fast and I am watching my kids grow up on fast forward. It's amazing. This week was full of first experiences for our kids, in particular, Johnny. He is not my baby boy anymore, he is a big boy. And Eliza, I can't believe it, she is just learning things so fast. It is just amazing.
Monday was Johnny's first day at his new school. We were nervous about how it would go for him. Mostly, we felt that he would be just fine, but there is always a part of you that feels a little nervous that he might be scared or nervous himself. Not Johnny. He just walked into the school with his backpack on, walked with us to his new classroom, and took his teacher's hand and basically just waved good-bye to us. He was just happy and excited to be there. After his first day, his teachers told us that he was just excited all day long. He loved it. The next morning, he was excited to get dressed and go to school.
Tuesday morning, before he went to school, we had a dentist appointment. It was Johnny's first cleaning. I was nervous about how he would do. We tried to have him go first, but he was so nervous. He didn't understand what this weird guy was trying to do, and he did not like the chair. He was just really tense, and clamped his mouth shut. So we decided to let me go. He sat and just watched the dentist as he cleaned my teeth. he was really good, just very interested in what was going on. The dentist, at the end of my cleaning had Johnny sit on his lap, so he could see the mirror and the pick and how the worked. I was hoping Johnny would get it. After I was done, I signed to him that it was his turn, and he just sat right in the chair, and the dentist came toward him with the mirror, and Johnny opened his mouth wide and let the dentist clean his teeth and floss them and polish them. He was really good. The dentist even commented on how good of a patient he was. It was a lot of fun.
After the appointment, we took Johnny to school. He was just as excited the second time as he was the first. It was fun to see him after school. He lined up with the other kids in the hall and obeyed his teachers as they signed for him to sit along the wall. He was so good. He waved at us, but just waited until everyone was going out to the busses. It was a lot of fun to see him look so grown up. It was fun to see him with his deaf peers, and speaking his language, and to be a part of something where he was completely involved. After seeing him this last week, I have no doubt that we made the right choice in sending Johnny to the signing school. They were so excited to have him there, and he was so excited to be there. It was just cool.
THursday, he rode the bus to school. He wasn't nervous at all. He climbed in and saw his old car seat and thought it was cool. The van was full of other kids going to his school, and they were all signing and he was just happy to be there and part of it.
It has also been great to see him with Eliza now. He plays so well with her, for the most part. He always takes the time to get down on her level and teach her a new sign. She knows that, and so she always taps him on his shoulder and points at something and then signs what, so he can tell her what it is. Of course, as a result, she knows all the super hero names, dinosaur, fireman, police, cars, you know, all the boy stuff.
The kids are growing up so fast. It is unbelievable. It makes me want to spend as much time with them as I can, so I miss as little as possible as they grow up. It all happens so fast.

The Year in Review

In place of a Christmas letter, I am going to post this on our blog, and cover what has happened this year with each of us. Hopefully this will be an easy and convenient way for people to See what we have been up to. Overall, it has been an eventful year, to put things mildly. A lot has happened with our little family, but it has all been a lot of positive growth for us.
Eliza has grown up from our little baby girl to our little toddler girl. I can't believe how much has happened with her. She received her hearing aids in January, and still wears them. She has gotten to the point that if she sees them, she will bring them over to us and want us to put them in. She is just doing what little toddlers do. She is walking all over the place, and becoming more and more independent. She has also started to develop an interest in everything traditionally girl. She loves little dolls, and phones and shoes and clothes. She is also coming along in the communication department. It seems that everyday she is learning a new sign. She also repeats a lot of sounds she hears, including her favorite, "Uh-oh". Johnny is her hero, and she follows him around nonstop and wants to do whatever he is doing. She is my favorite girl, and nothing makes my day more than when I come home and she comes running over to me to give me a hug and a kiss.
Johnny has been through quite a lot this year. Those of you who follow this blog know that already. He received his hearing aids in January, and they did little to help his hearing. However, he continued to pick up signing like crazy. It's been hard for mom and dad to keep up. In June, he went in for surgery for his cochlear implant. He was so brave! The surgery went well, and he received his processor a month later. His mapping was a struggle. Not because our audiologist isn't very good, but mostly because he did not want to just sit there and get mapped, and we had issues with our processor from the start. These things have been worked out, and he can now hear at around 25-30 dbs with his processor on. Now, whether he likes hearing is another question. Most of the time he doesn't seem to mind, but from time to time, he just does not want to hear, so he won't keep his processor on. We try to get him to keep it on, but he is two almost three, so it doesn't always work out. His main mode of communication remains signing, which we think is great. It is definitely a challenge to try to keep up with him on his signing, but we are doing pretty good, I think. In January, he will be starting pre-school at JMS, which is the ASL preschool in our area. We are very excited about this. We think he will learn a lot of very important social skills, and he will appreciate associating with kids who are deaf and sign just like him. He is my little hero, and it has been amazing to watch how he has coped and adapted to all of this through this year. He always has a smile on his face, and it's the kind that lights up the room.
Erica just keeps trucking along. She is pretty much the most amazing person in the world (even more amazing than Barack Obama). She has taken everything this last year in stride. I have just been amazed to sit back and watch as she has patiently gone to battle to get done what is right for her kids. She currently is staying home each day with the kids, and I am so thankful for that blessing right now. She makes it a point to find different activities and crafts to do with the kids each day. I've been amazed to watch how she has made choice after choice to benefit our kids, while sacrificing herself. Like when we decided to start attending the deaf ward in our area. It was out of her comfort zone, but she knew it would be best for our kids. That being said, everyone in our new ward has gone out of their way to make us feel welcome.
I continue to stay busy at work and at school. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel for school, and can't wait to reach it. This last semester I also started the Seminary teacher preservice classes at the institute. I love the class, and I really hope it works out. I can't picture myself really doing anything else.
The Lord has blessed us in abundance this year. Through all of our challenges, we have grown and have seen the Lord's hand at work. I am grateful to Him for my family that makes this life worth living.

Merry Christmas!

Well, it was Christmas today, and I got everything I really wanted. The thing I wanted most was seeing my kids happy on Christmas morning, and they were. We had a nice evening at home for Christmas Eve. We ate a nice little family dinner at our little table. It was very sweet. Then we opened our Christmas Eve gifts, which are always pajamas. The kids also each got a blanket with their PJ's. Johnny got a firefighter blanket, and Eliza got a Cookie Monster blanket. They both loved them. Johnny wouldn't let anyone touch his. After we opened the gifts, the kids got a Christmas bath (which is the same as a normal bath, just at Christmas time). After their bath, we put them in their new pajamas, and we all snuggled down and watched a movie about Jesus, to help the kids realize what Christmas is all about. After the movie and some stories, it was time to put some milk and cookies out for Santa, then off to bed. It was a Christmas miracle, both kids were in bed and asleep before 8:00. It was awesome, and probably the last year it will happen.
We all got up at 6:30 this morning, and saw that Santa had come. Johnny was very excited as he opened his gifts. He loved his new fire engine and fire helicopter. However, the gift that got him the most excited was his Batcave. He started opening it, and when he saw what it was, he couldn't get that paper off fast enough. He wanted it out of the box right away, and has played with it almost nonstop since. Lesson learned for next year: have Johnny open things like clothes and backpacks before the toys, otherwise he loses all interest.
Eliza was excited about her baby doll stroller and her little baby doll, but she got really excited when she saw the Elmo in her stocking. She saw that and started pointing up at her her stocking and signing want. It was pretty cute. Her other favorite part was all the candy in her stocking. She kept bringing different candies to us and signing candy and open. However, like responsible parents we did regulate how much she could have.
After we opened gifts, we began the marathon of family visits that occurs every major holiday. We started this time and my dad's house, so Johnny could see his cousin Joseph before he went to his dad's. The two were kind of funny. Once Johnny showed up with his helicopter, Joseph only wanted to play with that, which was fine because Johnny only wanted to play with Joseph's Buzz. Kids are funny that way.
After we went to my dad's, we went to my mom's to see her. They always have snacks out on Christmas, and they just wait for people to come over, so it is really laid back and relaxed. Josh and I played a little Beatles Rock Band, which may be the greatest game ever made. Johnny took the opportunity to take a nap, which was probably good, but left him confused when he woke and we were ready to leave. He didn't understand, because to him we just got there.
After that, it was back to my dad's for Christmas dinner. We had the traditional turkey, potatoes and such. We stayed and visitid for a bit, and then it was off to Erica's parents, where we spent a couple of hours visiting there. Johnny was excited because he got another dinosaur movie there, which always makes him happy.
Then it was time to come home, and just crash. Johnny went straight to playing with his batcave, and has not stopped. Eliza is asleep, and I think their parents wish they were too. It was a busy day, but it was a great day.
To those of you who read this, I wish you all a Merry Christmas, and may the Lord bless you with all you need this season and the upcoming year.

The Fight for an Education

It might be a little early to worry, but I am concerned about the education my kids will be getting here in Utah. Utah Schools for the Deaf and Blind fully supports an oral educational approach for our deaf kids. In their opinion, oral education is the answer. Deaf kids who are educated orally will be better able to learn and function in society. They will be able to compete on the same level as kids who hear. They will be eventually mainstreamed and be normal happy teenage kids. That is what they want you to believe.
Last night we went to a meeting where we learned that the truth is not just different, but it is scary. A high percentage of kids who "graduate" from the oral and mainstreaming program read on a 4th grade level. A low percentage of them graduate, and an even lower percentage go on to college. Deaf kids who do go through mainstreaming aren't accepted. It's just the opposite. Instead of finding themselves accepted in the normal system, they are isolated as the only deaf child in the school. They are kept from participating in normal activities like sports or spelling bees. They are encouraged to take classes that will help them "graduate", but are not academic enough to help them get into college. An email was shown last night that showed how the administration of USDB in 2005 felt about their deaf students being encouraged to go to college. Basically, that kind of activity was referred to as giving the students "more false hopes". The person who was going to encourage these kids to enroll and apply at the U of U was told to give the deaf students "a good dose of reality, and not sugar coat it." If the statistics and attitudes that were shared last night were happening in a "normal" school district, it would make the news, parents would be up in arms. Yet here it is happening, and no one seems to notice. Why? Because what better can we really expect for the deaf kids? They don't really expect to go on to college, do they?
I expect my kids to go. I am ready to do everything I can to make that happen. My first thought was to move away, someplace like Texas, or Washington, D.C., where there is a strong Deaf community. Where my kids could go to school and get the education they deserve. But if everyone who felt that way moved away from here, who would stay and fight? No one. The USDB would win, and oralism would be the only way here. We decided we will stay and take up the fight. To make our kids' lives better, and make the lives of others better.
So, what is a better way? It's not hard to figure out, I think. The same way that hearing kids are taught, should be the same way that deaf kids are taught. Hearing kids go to school and communicate with their friends and their teachers in their native language. Most of the time, there is no interpreter, because the communication is direct. Deaf kids deserve the same. An all signing atmosphere for school. The communication would be direct. They wouldn't have to struggle to try to listen and read lips. They wouldn't miss vital parts of lessons because the interpretation was unclear. It would be direct. They would be surrounded by positive role models who are like them, who can set good examples for them. They would be surrounded by friends who are like them, and they would all be signing. It would be like any other school. They wouldn't feel ashamed or discouraged because of how they are different. They would be accepted. This would be good for building support for the future, building a community, based on common, positive experiences. I believe their test scores would go up, they would be better able to read and better prepared to go into college. They would be surrounded by adults, who believed and expected them to succeed, instead of knowing they would fail. Imagine the power we would be giving our kids, as they learned to love who they are, and have pride in who they are, instead of always focusing on what they are not.
If we don't speak out, then who will? The USDB will continue on like it has been doing for years. But if we come together and say that what they have been doing is not good enough, and our kids deserve better, if we demand that, how will they be able to deny it? We have that opportunity next week. On Thursday, November 12, at 6:30 at the Sanderson center, there is a Town Hall meeting with the new Superintendent of USDB. We need to be there to make our voices heard, to demand that they do what is right for our kids, which is educate them and prepare them for college.

No We Didn't Forget the Time Change

I imagine if anyone in our court saw us leaving before ten on Sunday, they probably thought, "How embarassing, the Dietz family forgot to set their clocks back." Truth is, we didn't forget at all. We were leaving just when we intended to. This last week we went to the LDS Deaf ward near our house. We were hoping it would be a good experience for Johnny to be around a lot of other people who sign, so he wouldn't feel like he was so different from everyone else.

It was amazing to see the difference it made for Johnny. He just sat and watched all the signing around him. He was just glued to the front. I mean, he didn't pay attention the whole time, but he didn't try to escape, he didn't scream, he didn't hit Eliza, it was amazing. He was still a two year old, but he was as reverent as any two year old I had ever seen.

After sacrament meeting the Bishop came over and said hi. I had met him a couple of days before at work, and told him we would be coming to the ward. He wanted to meet my two kids. The whole ward was so kind and welcoming. Even though my wife and I are still learning ASL, everyone mad an effort to make us feel welcome. It was great. Johnny seemed to do well in Nursery, and Erica and I were able to sit through all three meetings in church. It was pretty cool. We are not sure where to go from here. Going to the ward would be a good opportunity for us to be immersed more in the culture, which will help us as Johnny and Eliza grow. Plus they will have the opportunity to grow up in a ward setting where they are normal, which would be a huge deal for any kid. However, it would be a big change for us. However, well, I guess we'll see what the Lord wants for us.